


In Pictures

by teamchasez



Category: Jeff Gordon - Fandom, NASCAR - Fandom, NASCAR RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 05:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16033616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchasez/pseuds/teamchasez
Summary: A mistake on his part in a moment of anger cost Jeff Gordon not only his marriage, but also his unborn child. He watches his child growing up through pictures.





	In Pictures

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2008. Song fic to Alabama's "In Pictures".

_I've got her photograph on the stand by my bed  
Two on the mantle and thousands in my head  
I can't believe how fast she's growing it ain't supposed to be like this  
Everytime I look at her I see how much I've missed_

He looked at the photograph in his hand. She was growing up so fast. She looked just like him. She could be a daddy's girl. He thought. His house was almost like a shrine to her. Pictures were on the wall, the mantle, most importantly by his bed so he could see her every morning and every night.

This picture showed him a little cut on her forehead where she had fallen learning how to walk. The cut was just a little part in her life that he missed.

_I missed her first steps, her first words  
And I love you Daddy is something I seldom heard  
Oh it hurts me so to watch my girl grow up in pictures_

The letter told him that she was walking and could say her first word. Ma. _'Why cant she say Da?'_ He thought. 

He looked up from the recent photo and around the room. Pictures of her hung everywhere. Pictures from the hospital the day she was brought into this world, to her crawling and giggling or smiling.

He had the first year of her life on his walls but what he wouldn't give to have them in his life. What he would give up so he could be a part of his daughters life.

_I sent her money down do my best to do my part  
But it can't compare to what I pay with my heart  
There's still one unanswered question weighs heavy on my mind  
Will she ever understand the reasons why_

He wrote out the check and signed it. He would put it in the mail the first thing in the morning. The money didn't matter to him. If he could he would give everything he earned to his daughter but it still wouldn't be enough, not in his heart.

He wondered if she would understand why he couldn't be there in her life. The question rolls through his head every day. _'Would she forgive me for not being there? Would she understand why I couldn't?_

The letter today talked about her first day of school. She's growing up so fast. He is missing so much in her life and it kills him. He's missing out on so much.

_I missed her first steps, her first words  
And I love you Daddy is something I seldom heard  
Oh it hurts me so to watch my girl grow up in pictures_

He wiped the tear from his cheek and stared at her beautiful smile, his smile. He's missed so much of her life. He's missed all 6 years of her life. He didn't want to miss anymore.

_'I love you Daddy'_ was something he wanted to hear. So many times he has picked up the phone and got halfway through and hung up.

 _Does she know that I'm her daddy?_ He thought. _'Would she ever recognize me?_ He bit his lip and looked at the phone, trying to make a decision.

_It takes all I have to keep the tears inside  
What I wouldn't give if I could turn back time_

People say he has everything. Everything though isn't what he wants. They say money can buy anything, except for the most important.

He wants to be apart of his daughter's life. He doesn't want to miss out on any more than he already has. 

If only he had seen it coming he could have prevented the fight and the words that were said that night. 

If only he had thought, the terrible words wouldn't have came out. The words thrown across her face and the hurt registering in her eyes tore him apart. 

He loved her so much but the words that he had said overshadowed his love. She left and took their baby she carried with her. It was his fault.

He could never take the words he said to her back that night, for they were already on the table. 

_I missed her first steps, her first words  
And I love you Daddy is something I seldom heard  
Oh it hurts me so to watch my baby grow up in pictures_

He walked outside blinking his eyes as the sun beamed down. It was a beautiful day but he didn't notice. He walked over to his car with the picture in his hand.

"Are you okay?" His crew chief asked him. 

He held up the picture and showed him. "Her first day of school." She's 6 years old and doesn't know her daddy's is.

"Looks just like you." His crew chief laughed. "Poor girl." 

He put a smile on his face. The innocent comment tore through his heart. Does she know that there's someone out there whom she looks like? He leaned in and taped the picture in his car so he could see it all day long. He walked over to the platform and waited for his name to be called. 

"Driver of Hendrick Motorsports Dupont Chevrolet, Number 24 Jeff Gordon!" He plastered a small on his face and waved to the crowd, ignoring boos he received. 

He hoped that somewhere a little girl would say, "That's my daddy."


End file.
